Similarly to my last interruption in your regularly scheduled Philly programming, I just had a moment. Well, maybe it was more of a realization than a moment, but nonetheless, it was something that I sat down immediately to write, and thought needed to be shared.
Last weekend I went on a first date. We were having a nice time, so we hopped around a few bars. When we got to bar #2, a smaller space, we sat at the far end of the long wrap around bar. There were two seats open to our left, which two young women sat in. I was facing my date, so I initially didn’t pay much attention to them, But a few minutes in, I heard them ask the waitress to move a few spots down the bar, to the other side of my date. No big deal, they were in the corner. We went on chatting.
After they moved, perfectly situated in my line of vision, both of the random women kept staring, well . . . glaring, over at me and my date, but truly, mostly me. They were physically turning their bodies to look over at me. It happened so frequently throughout our short time there, it was throwing my conversation off. Their constant looks made me, a typically confident person, feel very self-conscious. Was there something on my face? Were we being too loud? As confident as I thought I was, these look were on track to steal my fun first date from me, and I had no control over it. The women left before we had even finished our drinks, giving us one final disapproving look.
Obviously thrown, but trying not to let them ruin the night, we moved on to our next bar, and I ran downstairs to the bathroom. As I was exiting, I passed another woman, also around my age, in the hallway. She stopped me, and said, “I love your dress!” When I started to say thank you, she stopped me. “And that necklace! Oh my gosh – I’m just loving this whole thing you have going on! You look so good!” I thanked her, multiple times, and went back upstairs to my date, feeling confident, beautiful and empowered. My night was changed, all from our 30 second exchange.
It is amazing to me how we, as women, have such an opportunity to interact positively with other women, yet we frequently choose to not take it. I sometimes feel it would be “weird” if I compliment another woman who looks amazing on the street. But then, I think about every time a woman has ever complimented my look out of the blue. Do I think they’re weird? NO! I think they’re sweet and kind (and have great style, of course).
Ladies, I encourage you to be like the second woman. While I will never know what was bothering the women of my first encounter so much, I feel really lucky I ran into their successor. I hope this tale encourages you to bring another woman up today. You never know how much she needs it! xx