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September 28, 2018

My #1 Dating Struggle Right Now

In dating in Philly over the years, I’ve run into my fair share of things that have shut down my prospective relationships. From an unhealthy obsession with cats, to a very severe lack of common interests, to, of course, the occasional UDP (if you know, you know), sometimes matches just aren’t meant to be. But lately, the issue that seems to be plaguing my budding romances most stems directly from be me being confident about what I’m looking for, and that, for the most part, making the guy run the other way. And this all manifests itself in the planning. of. freaking. dates.Dating in Philly Struggles

That’s honestly it. The “things” I’ve had with the last several men I’ve gone out with have ended when I’ve asked to confirm a date. Right now, at this stage of my life, I’m not looking to go on one date a month. I want nothing less than a texting buddy. If the date went well and we’re both looking for the same thing, it’s impossible for me to think (and, has been programmed into my brain by every magazine since birth) that a guy can’t make time for another quick date soon after. When we have trouble nailing that down, that’s where I get uneasy, which usually gives them, an easy out.

I know that asserting what I’m looking for (which, as a reminder, is to go on actual dates) early on is risky. I forever struggle to keep the balance of sharing what is important to me, and making sure I don’t come off too aggressive. Like I explained this summer, I’m efficient and organized, and, translated to my dating life, I’m slightly uninterested in investing months of time in a so-so thing. It’s tiring! As I’m saying, sure you can let me know by Thursday night if Friday works, I’ll keep my whole night open for you, or, no I don’t care that you want to reschedule without giving alternative dates, my night I held open for you (and, when I was dating more frequently, other men I pushed back to keep this date) is NBD. My life is busy, it’s not NBD to me.

In addition to my planning personality, I struggle with the fact that the stating of this alone is something that makes men back out. I always want the other person to be up front about what they’re looking for. I know this has come likely out of years of “failed” romance frustrations, but also from maturity. As I was thinking about this post, I was reminded of a time years ago when I kept floating potential times to hang out by a guy I was slightly intimidated by, but never confirming a date. And after a few of his attempts to solidify something, he explained he didn’t have time for the games, and ended things. It stung, and I felt horrible for wasting his time.

I feel like I’m saying more of what I want and feel across the board in my life right now – at my job, with my family, and with my friends. It’s been really good for me. And while my friends may agree with everything I said above (we don’t want pen pals), and my family may think I shut things down too quickly, maybe it all comes down to the fact that I haven’t come across the right guy that responds to that, that I’m equally interested in, just yet. But I am going to continue to work on the balance. And that’s the best I can do right now. xx

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Filed Under: dating Tagged: dating, online dating

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Good Day Philadelphia

HP on the Gram

Felt just like old times tonight… a pitcher of @ Felt just like old times tonight… a pitcher of @jose_pistolas margs, chicken tinga nachos, and a 45 minute parking spot search (what are they filming in the city rn?!). 😉 Thankful for good friends & lots of guac.
Ready to see the best thing I couldn’t wait to s Ready to see the best thing I couldn’t wait to share while I was taking an insta break? Swipe! 

We adopted a puppy!!! 🖤 Meet Putter. He was born in January in Mississippi, and brought to PA with his mom & siblings for adoption by @tlcrescuepa. 

I had been applying to rescue a pup for almost a year, so I am so thankful to @tlcrescuepa for giving us a shot. We brought Putter home 4/26/22. 🥰

Putter is fitting into our family so well, and we are loving watching him grow and learn new things. Jim & I are taking him to puppy class every Saturday and we are excited to learn more ourselves! 

I could spam you with a million pictures but I created an Insta for the baby so I don’t go overboard here. 😂 You can follow @putterthepuppy to see more of our small boy. 🥹
The last night of @linnytharp’s Philly bachelore The last night of @linnytharp’s Philly bachelorette was such a joy it deserves its own post. 🚃

I have talked about the @foundingfootsteps tours for years. The owner, Tim, is such an asset to the Philly community, and I was excited to support his company for our ladies night out. 💃🏻

I booked us the Beer & Bands trolley tour. We (the 8 of us and 3 sweet younger gals) got picked up at Betsy Ross house with our BYO @highnoonsunsips and singing voices ready. 🎶

The trolley comes equipped with musicians and an amazing driver (shoutout Koser, Nate & Justin!) and takes you on a drive throughout the city, while the musicians play Britney Spears, BSB, & other assorted covers. Though we did make several suggestions to add more Taylor songs into rotation. 😉

The windows are open and we were loudly singing along, so early on, in our drunken happiness, we decided to start waving to people out the window. Once we started getting a few waves back, it became the sole focus of the night, singing and seeing how many waves we could secure (it was a 95% wave-back rate). 

We laughed and sang and just had the most fun tour ever. The tour also stops at a brewery or two (hence that part of the name), we stopped at @victorytaproom_phl on ours, but we were mostly happy to be waving on the trolley. 😂

I can’t recommend @foundingfootsteps for your next girls night out enough. 🖤
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