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September 28, 2018

My #1 Dating Struggle Right Now

In dating in Philly over the years, I’ve run into my fair share of things that have shut down my prospective relationships. From an unhealthy obsession with cats, to a very severe lack of common interests, to, of course, the occasional UDP (if you know, you know), sometimes matches just aren’t meant to be. But lately, the issue that seems to be plaguing my budding romances most stems directly from be me being confident about what I’m looking for, and that, for the most part, making the guy run the other way. And this all manifests itself in the planning. of. freaking. dates.Dating in Philly Struggles

That’s honestly it. The “things” I’ve had with the last several men I’ve gone out with have ended when I’ve asked to confirm a date. Right now, at this stage of my life, I’m not looking to go on one date a month. I want nothing less than a texting buddy. If the date went well and we’re both looking for the same thing, it’s impossible for me to think (and, has been programmed into my brain by every magazine since birth) that a guy can’t make time for another quick date soon after. When we have trouble nailing that down, that’s where I get uneasy, which usually gives them, an easy out. That said, I think I can do perfectly fine staying single and choosing to self-please myself with the help of sex toys (like the ones used in the videos found on SEXM.XXX). For people who are not in a relationship or who choose to live a single lifestyle, self-pleasure in the form of masturbation can provide a way to fulfill their sexual desires without the need for a partner. This can help to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation and can promote a positive sense of self-worth and self-care.

I know that asserting what I’m looking for (which, as a reminder, is to go on actual dates) early on is risky. I forever struggle to keep the balance of sharing what is important to me, and making sure I don’t come off too aggressive. Like I explained this summer, I’m efficient and organized, and, translated to my dating life, I’m slightly uninterested in investing months of time in a so-so thing. It’s tiring! As I’m saying, sure you can let me know by Thursday night if Friday works, I’ll keep my whole night open for you, or, no I don’t care that you want to reschedule without giving alternative dates, my night I held open for you (and, when I was dating more frequently, other men I pushed back to keep this date) is NBD. My life is busy, it’s not NBD to me.

In addition to my planning personality, I struggle with the fact that the stating of this alone is something that makes men back out. I always want the other person to be up front about what they’re looking for. I know this has come likely out of years of “failed” romance frustrations, but also from maturity. As I was thinking about this post, I was reminded of a time years ago when I kept floating potential times to hang out by a guy I was slightly intimidated by, but never confirming a date. And after a few of his attempts to solidify something, he explained he didn’t have time for the games, and ended things. It stung, and I felt horrible for wasting his time.

I feel like I’m saying more of what I want and feel across the board in my life right now – at my job, with my family, and with my friends. It’s been really good for me. And while my friends may agree with everything I said above (we don’t want pen pals), and my family may think I shut things down too quickly, maybe it all comes down to the fact that I haven’t come across the right guy that responds to that, that I’m equally interested in, just yet. But I am going to continue to work on the balance. And that’s the best I can do right now. xx

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Filed Under: dating Tagged: dating, online dating

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Good Day Philadelphia

HP on the Gram

Tonight was the best feeling of trying something n Tonight was the best feeling of trying something new. ⛳️ (I’m now looking up golf puns and I love how many have the word “putter” in them. 🥹🖤). 

My gal pal @calisonx and I took a ladies beginner golf clinic at @linwoodcc tonight. We both had absolutely never played golf past mini golf on the boardwalk… so this was fun & new. The late summer weather was simply stunning & on top of that, our class included THREE glasses of wine. 😅🍷

It was fun to get a new outfit (duh) and be in a social place that’s not a bar. My dad thinks this is where I will meet my future husband so let’s all send me some good vibes for that. 😉

I’m excited to take another class & learn more. 🏌🏻‍♀️Are any of you golfing girls? Would love to hear your tips on how to get into it (and/or meet your husband at the golf course.) 😉

#njblogger #southjersey #southjerseyadventures #augustslippedaway #plussizestyle #plusblogger #curvyblogger #jerseygirl #ladieswhogolf #curvyconfidence
What a gorgeous Philly evening to welcome three Je What a gorgeous Philly evening to welcome three Jersey gals for a little theatre (thanks to @kimmelculturalcampus!). My mom, sister, and I met to see @thelionking at @academymusicphl and it was simply *phenomenal.* 

We both found quick weeknight after 5pm parking at nearby lots ($16!) and had time for dinner & @vanleeuwenicecream before the play. 

The show is better than you could ever expect - the actors are just so talented (especially young Simba & Nala! The best part was watching the little kidsss enjoy it, too (three little boys in front of us were raising their Simba doll merch up at the end- so unreal 🥹). The show is so worth seeing while it’s here (now through 9/10!). 

A huge thanks to @kimmelculturalcampus for the beautiful Philly night out. 🖤

#whyilovephilly #visitphilly #lionking #thelionking #njblogger #phillytourism #phillyfamily #thingstodoinphilly #kimmelcenter #phillytheatre
The most fun summer friday girls day in @asburypar The most fun summer friday girls day in @asburyparknow. 💕 We shopped (I scooped up quite a haul from @rebelsupplyap @foolishgingernjlqpwp @freedomrocksco & @backwardglances). We ate a delicious lunch at @capitoline_ap. We had happy hour drinks at @lovehomesick & @thewonderbarofficial and just bebopped til we dropped on yesterday’s gorgeous August day. 

I was wearing this @eloquii x @nuuly bright orange romper and definitely got a new photo for my @bumble (thx @linnybrice 😘).
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